Lullaby
by FiddleStixx
Summary: ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. Author is tapping into feelings...John Kennex/Dorian, based loosely on the song Lullaby - Nickelback


" _I'm sorry John. They voted against keeping him running, he's to be deactivated in week…_ "

John Kennex, army man, badass cop, once ruthless drunk and synthetic cop hater could hear that line spoken by Captain Maldonado in his head, whizzing around like flying fish in his brain. That line continued to haunt him, despite it being months since he was gone.

Dorian had been deactivated, the board deciding his misconduct made him too dangerous for public use and he needed to be shut down and put back into storage, possibly wiped. They didn't take into consideration the effect it would have on John, nor their relationship currently.

John had almost killed himself after the decision, but it was Dorian who stopped him.

He was ready to throw himself off the roof of the police complex, robo leg and all in protest, when Dorian coaxed him down, not wanting to make a scene. John had been off lately, but seeing Dorian's concerned face somehow made him lose it completely.

It took Dorian till the day of his deactivating to calm him enough to come with him, both man and A.I. scared out of their minds as Rudy called them in. Dorian had asked Maldonado for a private deactivation, the least she could do in his final hour of need, more for John than himself. She granted that, thankfully.

" **John." Dorian murmured, a hitch in his voice. "I...I'm so sorry.** "

" **Don't Dorian. Not right now.** " " **No, listen to me.** " Dorian cupped his face, pressing their foreheads together, alone as Rudy was setting up the equipment. " **It's gonna be okay. I promise.** "

" **No. No, it's not.** " John shook his head, tears pricking his already sore eyes. " **I won't have my portable coffee warmer.** " Dorian laughed, a heavy sound that made John's knees, real and man-made, weak. John had kept that memory close to his heart, considering it was one of the only things that made him feel right now.

" **It's okay, John. I wasn't a very good one.** " " **No.** " John shook his head, hearing footsteps coming back to them. " **You were the best one.** "

Dorian shook his head, the synthetic's eyes looking suspiciously shiny as he kissed his cheek. " **Same here.** " Rudy coughed, gaining their attention and looking both slightly upset and a little awkward. " **It's time.** "

Sniffling, John straightened up, nodding as he lead Dorian behind Rudy to the terrible machine that would take his best friend, partner and once lover away from him for good.

Lying down, Dorian looked up at him. " **Be here when I wake up again?** "

It was an mutual joke, shared between him and John from the time he'd woken up the first time as he was only on a trial program. John hated it, but he couldn't care less right now.

" **Always.** " He nodded. " **Always, Dorian.** "

Dorian smiled at him and John locked that memory away with all the others in his head that Dorian had either been in or made for him, vowing to never forget that.

" **Goodbye John.** " Dorian murmured, closing his eyes as Rudy readied the probe to shout his main parts down. " **Bye, Dor.** " John choked out, watching as Rudy stuck the offending object into his neck.

His life was all over after that.

His phone had stopped ringing about a month ago, Captain Maldonado having finally cased trying to contact his person as it looked like he wasn't coming back. He wasn't, that was right, but only for a while, not forever.

Only Rudy, who was kind enough to not to speak about anything, knew everything John was going through currently.

" **I'll leave you two alone. Take as long as you like, Detective Kennex.** " Rudy had nodded before leaving the lab space, leaving John to face a deactivated Dorian, unzipped from his plastic case.

' _He almost looks like he's sleeping._ ' John thought to himself, running a thumb down the cold, fake skin of Dorian's cheek. He tried to hold it in, but he exploded, all the grief making him slide to his knees and sob at Dorian's feet, shaking.

" **Dor, why can't you just fucking wake up!? I did shit for you, why can't you just wake up!? You should have fought them, you should have, I should have…!** " John hit the ground in anger, fists littered with previous scars from endeavors like this.

" **I need you, Dor.** " John held himself together, hands clenching around himself as Dorian lied motionless, without a word or even an blink as John sat there.

" **I need you back, Dor. Come back.** ** _Please…_** "


End file.
